The long journey…

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The engines suddenly roared to life. In spite of all the insulation against the sounds, the pressure was felt inside – and along with it the need to just let out. The pilot was holding the plane with the brakes as it was lashing out to just be unleashed as the force caused the plane to shudder. So was he. As the pilot let go off the brakes, a sudden lurch jolted him to accept the reality. He was taking off. He was taking off to a place he had been wanting to go ever since he heard the news that he is being transferred for a year – the place, which was supposed to be awesome for a fresher to go to – working with the guys who actually made what he worked on.

The opportunity however didn’t hold anymore importance to him. As the plane was speeding down the runway, the pilot managing the power churned by the four jets, he too fighting to control – the power of emotions. The truth struck him as ironical. He didn’t wanna take off anymore. Not when life was doing its best for him.

Her words played on his mind again and again like a record put on repeat – “Just turn back and run!” He felt helpless. He wanted to… He wanted to leave everything and just get back to her. As he turned back, he hit the person coming behind him, absolutely eager to board the plane as well. Not even bothering to look back after saying a sorry, the person was floating towards the dark corridor – the gate leading that was boarding the plane. The hit had brought him to reality. Even if he did brave the souls mobbing towards the plane, the guard was never gonna let him get out back to the waiting area.

“I should have turned back,” his mind was scoffing at him. “Why do I never turn back?” he kept asking himself as he let the mobbing souls push him towards the bright exit which seemed too dark anyway.

He felt his stomach churn a little as the flight took off the ground! He cursed the travel guys who had managed to him a seat at the ruddy centre of the plane. He had specifically requested them for a window seat, so that he could at least watch the world outside, without thinking of life in general, and specifically his.

There were some things, which he wished he could go back and correct. The last hug, just wasn’t enough. Why did he have to just go like that. He should have gone back just one more time, or more and told her how much she meant to him. He should have gone back and told everyone how much they meant to him. How his life has been a bliss with them. And now he was off to start another episode, all alone. Yes, all alone. Not the way he would have liked it to be. Not now, not ever. The feeling of loneliness crept over him. He looked to his sides to see himself flanked by strangers. Never had he been so alone in his life, even amidst 300 people in the fully loaded aircraft, which he half suspected was the case.

There was no one to tell him, “Hi bro!!” or “Wazzzzzaaaaaa” in the plane and no one to hold him and say, “I Love you…” He was sure to be bombarded with mails/messages from her next day, not to mention pointing it out for the rest of his life that he did not turn back. And, he cursed himself silently for what he did. He longed to see her again and as he felt the wheels go off the ground, in the aircraft gathering speed and altitude, he also let go and shed some silent tears, much to the shock of the people flanking him.

He did not know where he was going to go, save for the name. He had no clue of what he was going to go through alone in the world, vast and now thrown at him. But, he knew that he was going to come back and claim what he wanted. What he treasured, what he loved, more than anything in the world. He will come back and claim her, and all his friends. With the deep thought stirring him inside, he moved on to settle himself in the crowded seat. And, slowly, thinking about the past 2 weeks, he moved to close his eyes! Sleep was never a problem for him, but today he had to try hard. He knew that…. He knew that and smiled… A sad smile, but filled with hope, filled with love and warmth, that memories served him!!

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23 thoughts on “The long journey…

  1. Beautiful!

    See, if “he” had turned back, he would still have regretted not accepting “life’s best for him”.

    I believe life is full of regrets…some of them may be worth it…only time will tell.

    you chill man…

    PS

  2. Dude, I wish I could just chill. I have even tried sitting inside the refrigerator here. But, it’s still bloody warm here!! *fanning myself*

    “Life is full of regrets” :-D! Maybe indeed, I guess I have never experienced life thataway till now. :-D!

    Anyhoo, was reliving some memories watching Lord of the Rings. Man, I came across quite a dialog there, which kinda scares me as well. Frodo says,

    How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on? In your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep… That have taken hold…

    I somehow do not wanna believe in that. Flames can be rekindled, as long as the burning embers remain. As long as you don’t let it settle as soot, and later wash the soot away, flames can be made to burn again.

    So far, only memories and constant touch can help me at least keep the wind blowing, the breeze, which if blown fast, could unsettle the flame, causing it to dwindle, and if not blown enough, just consumes the part burning and dies out.

    Chilling, trying to … stilll ;-)!

  3. I guess you have too keep the embers burning then.

    Look, I’ve tried to imagine myself in your shoes now and I’m really not sure how long I’d last.

    BUT…when you have people constantly thinking about you (and vice versa), it makes a lot of difference…it ought to man…it ought to.

    Life goes on man…easier said than done huh?

    Try finding something you like to do there…and blog about it!

    Plus…I’m getting my first sal soon…and I’m thinking of celebrating with BEER!!!

    Problem is…I’m a first timer… 😦

  4. Aaah, now there’s something I’d like to blog about. :-D! Well, first of all, I am not in a pitiable state, believe me. I am pretty much the same guy as I was, still hearty, cheerful and full of life. Yes, it does help when you keep in touch with people and people are also constantly in touch with you!! 🙂

    Life goes on, it’s just that you feel, at times of course, that maybe you are missing out on some aspects. Then you tell yourself one of the 2 things to get outta the mood – Dude, you took up the self decision and move on. Or, you say, screw it, I am having a nice life here anyway. :-D!

    Yup, life moves on :-D!!

    Yeah, but unfortunately, I still haven’t got my laptop and this is on borrowed time and latpop ;-)!

    As far as beer is concerned, hmmm, thinking of making a post outta it now, for the first timers ;-)!

    Anyhoo, here’s a briefer.
    -> Don’t go by the taste. It sucks, initially, but then you grow to love it.
    -> GO FOR THE DRAUGHT BEER and NOT the bottled beer.
    -> Drink slowly and steadily.
    -> Always keep some bites near you. The best I like is “peanut masala” served in all the pubs in India. French fries, Potato wedges, wafers, chicken wings, drum sticks??? if you are a non-vegetarian
    -> If people have told you that you will puke when you drink the first time, it’s but a myth. It’s all in the mind. If at all you feel like puking, all you need to do is take a bite of something you like and smell it. Removes the feeling
    -> Do not mix your drinks the first time! That’s for later 😉
    -> Beer is healthier than Coke/Pepsi/other aerated drinks :-D!!
    -> If it’s a pub, DO NOT GO TO A PUB where in you don’t like the music. Screws the experience big time :-D!

    There! That should get you started. And m8, if you do get started, Welcome aboard the wagon ;-)! And there’s plenty of room in here to make yourself comfy ;-)!

  5. She

    “The opportunity however didn’t hold anymore importance to him.”

    I wouldnt want you to think this way ever again.I know how important this whole thing is to you…and i dont wanna be the reason why you think that it doesnt matter much anymore…rather, i would wanna be the reason why you would do better than ever before…make me proud,will ye 😛

    “He didn’t wanna take off anymore. Not when life was doing its best for him”

    The best of life is still to come…we have an entire lifetime ahead of us, a moment @ a time is all it’ll take… 🙂

    “The last hug, just wasn’t enough”

    I agree 🙂 Will send you a few pages from my journal regarding the same,it should have a more detailed account of how i felt about it 🙂

    “Why did he have to just go like that?”

    Eggjactly,my question…how did it creep into your post? 🙂
    An answer given by you when i asked you the same question, just to remind you 😛

    “I have to,you know that!To make some moolah,to climb up in life…I wanna become sumin in life,when i can hold my stead,pee against the wind :D”

    “He should have gone back just one more time>”

    I would have greatly appreciated it, not that i already know how much i mean to you 🙂

    “Yes,all alone”

    Your misconception. Germany isnt as far as it looks like. Its just a mail/instant message/scrap/call (read local call) away 😀 You are not alone,you have all of us 🙂

    ” He will come back and claim her”
    Long wait, but i can survive through it coz i have enough memories of you to last me a lifetime 🙂

    It isnt all tht bad…”Distance only makes the hearts grow fonder” 🙂 *hugs*

  6. First of all, why are people assuming that it’s MY story? Now that people are assuming it’s my story, I am writing like the character :-D!! Role playing, hmmm… ;-)!

    Anyhoo, to SHE who wrote so much for HE, as HE

    I wouldnt want you to think this way ever again.I know how important this whole thing is to you…and i dont wanna be the reason why you think that it doesnt matter much anymore…rather, i would wanna be the reason why you would do better than ever before…make me proud,will ye 😛

    Of course, only to better my situation have I reached this place baby :-D! And yeah I am doing a lot better and all this only for you. :-P!

    The best of life is still to come…we have an entire lifetime ahead of us, a moment @ a time is all it’ll take… 🙂

    Don’t use my own dialogues against me :P! I know, and I staunchly believe in that. I lose my way and give in at times, but that’s _the_ only way to live your life :-D! Uno momento at a el timo :P! [No, that wasn’t spanish]

    I agree 🙂 Will send you a few pages from my journal regarding the same,it should have a more detailed account of how i felt about it 🙂

    Looking forward to it baby. :-D!! I love reading your journal entries ;-)!

    I would have greatly appreciated it, not that i already know how much i mean to you 🙂

    Now, that’s comforting :P!

    Your misconception. Germany isnt as far as it looks like. Its just a mail/instant message/scrap/call (read local call) away 😀 You are not alone,you have all of us 🙂

    Germany? Who’s talking about Germany?? (‘?’)

    But yeah the place wherever I am gone is just a “local call” away. I know that now. And it helps, it really really does ;-)!

    It also helps me that I have you and the guys ;-)!

    Long wait, but i can survive through it coz i have enough memories of you to last me a lifetime 🙂

    It isnt all tht bad…”Distance only makes the hearts grow fonder” 🙂 *hugs*

    What happened to your “Outta sight, outta mind” dialogue huh? ;-)!! I know, I can be mean sometimes, but you DID say it :P!!

    Now, at the end of it, providing a disclaimer! Naah, balls to the anonymity, but yeah it was about me, the post and yeah it’s about germany :-D!! I love you baby!! You’re ze best!! And yeah, there are some cute German waitresses here!!

  7. 1) Stay away from the waitresses…
    2) The “Outta sight, Outta mind” doesnt apply anymore…i guess it was too much of a generalisation…
    3) U r such a MD!!

    Thats bout it… 🙂

  8. Ms.Imperfect

    “…not to mention pointing it out for the rest of his life that he did not turn back.”

    Now when did i do this??? 😛
    But now that you have given me the idea…well…

  9. @ Ms Imperfect:
    1) Wokey am doing that, but I still have to order and all, and they mite find it weird, if I order without looking at them and giving one of my charming smiles :-P!
    2) I agree. :-)! You know anyway that it was intended to pull your leg!
    3) I maybe an MD, but you know who’s the biggest MD of all times ;-)!

    Damn, I gave you the idea? I remember you telling me that you were gonna make me remember that for the rest of my life. Hence I said that :-P!

  10. nevermind! i was just using a phrase!

    Beer! well…um…should happen this weekend or something. Dunno why…but I feel a little scared…what if i start babbling once I take a gulp??!!!

  11. @ P.S: First of all – myth!! Lemme correct that notion. Unless you really wanna tell something, you won’t. And drinking is nothing but a state of high. Consequently, it’s a mental state. You can always come back down to sobre from a drunken state anytime. As long as you believe that you are totally under control. And when ya wanna “lose control”, well you can as well. :-D!!

    Hail drinking :-P!

    @ Ms.Imperfect: Yeah it’s all so clear >:D

  12. Kinda yes! Sometimes, I take pride at my writing ability to convince people. Came to hone it through some persuasive essay practice during my 10th grade ;-)!

    Yup, it’s meant to be clear dude!! Thank God, at least now I can confirm ya ain’t drunk yet :-D! [Not that it’s a problem]

    Enjoy drinking man! Don’t have no fear/ill thoughts about it, you can enjoy! Else do yourself a favor and don’t indulge in it. It’s as simple as that, just like buying a multicolored rainbow T-shirt. Think you can sport it off, do it, else save urself the trouble of buying it and facing the humiliation after that :-)!

  13. “Enjoy drinking man! Don’t have no fear/ill thoughts about it, you can enjoy! Else do yourself a favor and don’t indulge in it. It’s as simple as that, just like buying a multicolored rainbow T-shirt. Think you can sport it off, do it, else save urself the trouble of buying it and facing the humiliation after that ! ”

    You should run for president!!!

  14. Dude, I am just on a roll today that’s all ;-)!! I’d have to choose my campaigning days then :-P!! Furthermore, I really don’t think a lotta people would consider preaching alcoholism and running for President in the same light [well at least morally 😛 whilst I completely understand you and agree with you]!! ;-)!

    Btw, the example of a multicolored rainbow Tshirt is from real life. ;-)! [Wondering if I have just let out a tad too much info now… 😀 ]

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