1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
(Inside card) – I’ve changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
(Inside card) – I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
(Inside card) – That you’re not here to ruin it for me …
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
(Inside card) – Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
(Inside card) – Almost lifelike!
6. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) – Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
(Inside card) – Did you ever find out who the father was?
8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
(Inside card) – I’d miss you terribly and think of you often ..
9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
(Inside card) – So we’re having you put to sleep.
10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…..
(Inside card) – What the hell was I thinking
11. I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) – It’s almost like you’re still here.
12. Thank you for being part of my life…..
(Inside card) – I never knew what evil was until I met you!
13. Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) – Too bad no one likes your husband.
14. How can I say this….
(Inside card) – Your cooking kills me
(Inside card) – You’re divorced.
16. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
(Inside card) – Especially since you survived.
17. Congrats on getting married…
(Inside card) – It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
18. Someday I hope to marry…
(inside card) – Someone other than you.
19. We have been friends for a very long time…
(inside card) – What do you say we stop?